Popcorn
by Two Girls One Account
Summary: Jace walks in on Clary angry crying in a movie theatre. Why the hell did Rose have to let go? After Clary realizes that Jace has not seen her favourite movie, what does she do? She takes him home. One Shot


**So we got bored. This is a one shot that actually introduces one of our favourite non-popular, non-existant ships: Jordathan. Funny story on how this came to be, actually. R is a fucking dumbass, we were talking and instead of saying Jonathan she said Jordathan. So, this happened. Our theory on how this happened in canon is that (CoHF spoiler) when Jonathan "killed" Jordan, it was really to get rid of that bitch Maia, so he could have him all to himself. We might write this as a one shot one day, if R ever decides to actually read the fucking book.**

**Anyway, here is our one shot where Clary is a fucking psycho and Jace never knows what the fuck is happening.**

**Please remember to leave us reviews. Tell us what you did and didn't like so we know what to do for future fanfics. Tell us how you feel about popcorn. Tell us how you feel about Jordathan. It's going to be a thing, just fucking wait and see.**

**Just wait. And see.**

**Anyway... Tada**

Jace's POV:

After the last person walked out of the theater, I entered with my broom and trash can, ready to clean the empty theater before the next show started.

Or at least I thought it was empty.

Sitting in one of the middle rows, her knees tucked under her chin, scooping popcorn from her lap and shoving it in her mouth, was a very pretty redhead.

She was rocking back and forth, screaming incoherently and throwing popcorn at the now dim screen. "YOU DUMB BITCH!" she yelled, almost throwing another handful of popcorn, but deciding against it and shoving it in her mouth.

"Um, ma'am?" I approached cautiously. You never know when these people are unstable psychopaths. "Are you ok?"

"DO I LOOK OK TO YOU?" She yelled at me, tears streaming doing her face, smearing her mascara. "DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT THIS RUINED MY LIFE?"

"The movie? You mean you've never seen it before? It's a classic."

"OF COURSE I'VE SEEN IT! DOZENS OF TIMES! THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT HURT ANY LESS!" She shoved more popcorn into her mouth and swallowed before she could even chew.

"Look lady, I'm just here to clean," I said, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU CLEAN UP MY LIFE!? WHY DON'T YOU CLEAN UP MY GODDAMN EMOTIONS?" She was hyperventilating now. "HOW COULD SHE DO THAT? HOW COULD SHE SAY THAT SHE'LL NEVER LET GO THEN _LET GO_? SHE ISNT FUCKING ELSA! SHE DOESN'T NEED TO LET IT GO! IF SHE HAD JUST FUCKING SAT UP THERE COULD HAVE BEEN ROOM FOR LIKE NINE PEOPLE! WHAT A SELFISH BITCH!"

I, of course, had my ears covered for this whole small rant. She could yell loudly for someone so small. "Alright lady, I'm right here, you don't need to yell."

"HOW. CAN. YOU. BE. SO. CALM!" She screamed, shaking my shoulders with each word.

"Well, I've never actually seen the movie."

The girl's eyes narrowed into a death glare. "What?" She whispered. It was the first quiet thing she said to me. "ARE YOU INSANE?" Aaaaaaaaaaaaand moment over. "THE TITANIC IS ONE OF THE BEST CLASSICS IN THE HISTORY OF CLASSICS! IT HAS LOVE AND POVERTY AND RICHES AND SEX AND DICKS THAT ARE THERE JUST FOR THE SAKE OF HAVING A DICK IN THE PLOT!"

"Yeah," I said, looking away from her very intense eyes. "But it's sooo long!"

"When do you get off work?" she asked around another mouthful of popcorn. She has a lot of popcorn in her lap. Where's the bucket?

"Uh, I still have to clean Theater 3 after Age of Ultron is over. That's in about an hour."

The girl pulled out a pen from the pile of her lap popcorn. She began frantically scribbling on my arm. "Come to this address when you're done work. We are watching the movie. Bring as much popcorn as you can carry."

"Wait," I said, trying to grab some popcorn, but I got my hand slapped. (sad face) "If you have the movie, why did you come to watch it here?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING? MY SCREEN ISNT THAT BIG!" she said, gesturing towards the screen. "Also, they have nice popcorn. And my brother is annoying."

The girl stood, spilling her popcorn everywhere. "Hey," I said. I don't know if she noticed I want annoyed. "I have to clean that!"

"Then clean it. Meet me at my apartment. I'll be waiting. DO NOT FORGET THE POPCORN!" She turned to leave, and then spun back towards me when she reached the door. "My name's Clary by the way." She smiled. She has a pretty smile.

I smiled back. "I'm Jonathan Christopher."

Her smile faded. "I don't like that. That's my brother's name and it's too motherfucking long. Imma call you Jace." She smiled again, then turned and skipped out the door.

I smiled. "My mom used to call me that."

Once I was done cleaning Theater 3, I got into my car and drove to Clary's apartment. She lived on the top floor of a large apartment complex.

I knocked on the door of apartment 36A. It opened after a few seconds. Clary was at the door, holding a bag of gummy worms. "Oh hey, the movie's all set up. You came sooner than I expected."

"Yeah, I got off a little early."

"Wait," she said, sounding a little angry. "Where's the popcorn?" Shit. I knew I was forgetting something.

"Uuuumm, I forgot it." Her eye twitched.

"Well go get it." She can't be serious. "I'll get my brother to help you so you can bring more popcorn."

Is she really going to make me drive back to the movie theater to get her some popcorn?

"JOHN!" I guess she is.

"WHAT? I'M BUSY," came a reply of a male voice I swear I've heard before.

"I NEED YOUR HELP!" They were being really loud for a small apartment.

Suddenly a white haired boy came out of the hallway; I knew I recognized the voice.

"Johnny boy, what's up?" Jonathan Morgenstern was my old chemistry partner and we used to play football together. He saved my ass more times than I could count.

"Anyway," Clary interrupted, clearly not giving two shits about anything but popcorn. "He forgot to bring popcorn, and you're both going to get some. Bye." She pushed us out the door. That little midget pushed me out the door. I'm almost twice her size and she managed to push me and John both out the door.

"So why didn't you tell me you had a sister?" I asked John, who's been one of my closest friends for years and yet I've never even knew he had a sister.

"I valued our friendship," was his only reply. Understandable.

So half an hour later we had been back at the apartment for about three seconds, sitting on the couch and John and Clary were fighting.

"Why couldn't you just go out for your date?" Clary asked John. She seemed to be getting real tired of his shit. And who knew John had a girlfriend? He never told me. But then again, he never told me about his loud, annoying, obnoxious, seriously hot sister either.

"Because we wanted to stay in and he's never seen the Titanic either." Wait, he?

"Well can't we start it without him?" Clary whined.

"No, he's going to be here in a few minutes, calm down."

"Fine, but I'm not sharing my popcorn." She said crossing her arms.

"When do you ever share popcorn?" he asked, then looked over at me. "Once she stabbed me with a fork for eating her popcorn."

"HONEY I'M HOME!" Someone shouted from the doorway, making Jace jump.

"Hey Jordan, is that popcorn in your hand?" Clary of course zeroed in on the popcorn this Jordan guy was carrying.

"Yeah John said we were watching a movie and I knew you could never have enough popcorn." He said handing her the popcorn

"JOHN, MARRY THIS MAN." Clary yelled in the direction of her brother.

"I plan on it." John said, winking at Jordan.

"Aww, thanks babe." Jordan said walking over to John and kissing him passionately, grabbing his ass. **(AN: And I jizz in my pants.)**

"Baby, not here," John said, turning red. Jordan, however, was looking a little excited… If you know what I mean.

Clary sat next to me on the couch and was about to press play on the remote when John suddenly complained.

"Clary, that's my spot."

"But I can see the TV better here."

"But it's my spot."

"Well it's my movie."

"So? You just watched it today."

Clary glared at John like he was holding a fetus he just murdered. "This vintage cassette is signed by Leonardo Di Caprio! If that doesn't mean anything to you then I'm going to have to ask you to leave!"

Jordan looked over at me, "So, I'm Jordan. I should probably introduce myself since we will be in situations like this for the rest of our lives. They bicker a lot."

"Oh no, we just met. We're not even dating." I said getting a little nervous.

Jordan smiled. "Trust me, dude, I've been there. Now John and I engaged." He sighed happily. "The sooner you man up the sooner you can begin the rest of your life."

And he was right, they do bicker a lot. But so do me and Clary.

_And that, kids, is how I met your father. _

Clary stop, I'm telling them.

_But I wanted to tell them._

But I won the rock, paper scissors game.

_But-_

I'll get you popcorn if you let me tell them.

_Okay. _

Anyway that, kids, is how I met your mother.

**Umm, yeah.**

**xoxo**

**-R & A**


End file.
